When I got hired, the district informed me that I had to wear my name tag all the time. They had "code orange" security and for the safety of the children, everyone had to be able to be identified on a moments notice. That is all fine and dandy.
One morning, I got called at 7:45 to be at a school that was 25 minutes away... and I had to be there by 8:10. I was in my sleeping. Un-showered. No clothes picked out. No lunch packed. No breakfast eaten.
Great.
I have never moved so fast to get out the door in my life. On my way to the school, I realized that I had forgotten my name tag. My first thought was to go back to get
it, but I realized that I would be really really late and didn't want to risk getting in trouble with the principal. Plus, since I had never been to this school before, I wanted to get there in as much time as possible to at least figure out where the cafeteria was. As I walk into the front door, grab the sub folder, and head towards the classroom door, I see a bunch of students waiting outside the door.
Crap.
The kids are already there, meaning I am going to be in a fluster all day since I didn't have time to get organized before the kids got there for the day. I confidently walk into the room and I am reading the sub plans when a little boy comes up to me and taps the paper that I am reading.
For the sake of this story, we will call him Nathan. Nathan was a little short boy, even for 1st grade, he was still small. He had big rimmed glasses and toe-head blond hair.
He took a big sniff and got up his courage and said "Who are you?"
"I am your sub for the day. My name is Miss W and your teacher is sick today."
He thought about this for a second and said "Well, where is
your name tag?"
Grrr...
"I forgot it today. I was running out the door. It's OK though. I am your sub for today."
This did not please him.
"Well, we have a problem. You are supposed to have a name tag."
Really kid?
"I know. I have one, I just forgot it today. If you want to go down to the office and make sure that it's OK, that I'm here that's fine. But I promise that I am supposed to be here and that the office knows that I am here."
He is getting quite flustered. His face is getting all red and you can tell that he is not happy.
"Fine. I will go to the office. And when I get back, you better have a name
tag."
He proceeds down the hall. I hear him telling his friends in the hall that there is a woman in his classroom that didn't have a name tag, and that he was going to the office to "make sure the situation was under control".
I continue to read the plans. A few minutes later, I see a head poking in the door. Not a body, just a head. Nathan had returned. And was now staring at me... I say to him
"Is everything OK?" He nods.
"OK then. Can you please come in the classroom and do your morning
job?"
Slowly he opens the door and steps inside. He lets out a huge
sigh and says "I just don't know about you".
At this point Nathan, I don't know about you either.
Countdown till our Wedding!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Sub Chronicles - Kids say the Darnedest things...
Bill Cosby coined the phrase: Kids say the darnedest things. Boy... he had no idea what a mouthful he was saying when he said that.
The things that you over hear on a day to day basis when you sub is unbelievable. This goes back to the idea that kids take in everything and are aware of everything. And most comments are strung from absolute innocence.
For example, the quote to himself "my head hurts when I think". He had no idea the humor and irony that was coming out of his mouth when he said it.
My favorite thing though (so far) happened during a conversation between 2 girls.
Both of these girls had to stay in during recess to work on something or another. When I was a kid, if I didn't get recess, that was the worst day ever. These girls seemed to be in no hurry to make it to the swings however. As they were working at their desk, I was sitting at the teacher's desk reading and not really listening to their conversation. They were talking quietly and as far as I was concerned, they were only wasting their own time.
For the sake of the story, we are going to name these girls Jenna and Kristen. Now, I am not sure exactly how this conversation got to this point, but I heard Kristen say "My dad really snores".
I love it when kids talk about their parents because no information is off limits, so I pause from my book to listen.
Jenna replies " My grandma's boyfriend really snores. I have to stay at my grandma's house when my mom's boyfriend comes to visit."
Now I am really listening.
Jenna continues "I am with my grandma about 4 times a week. But it's funny, because sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and hear snoring and its my grandma's boyfriend. He always gets there in the middle of the night when I am asleep."
Now they have my full attention.
Kristen reply's "Why doesn't he get there early to eat supper with you?"
Jenna says "Well, he is a truck driver and doesn't get in until late at night. It usually sounds like they are moving furniture before they go to bed, but when I wake up all the furniture is moved back to where it was before I went to bed."
I am ready to burst with laughter.
Kristen thinks about this for a minute and reply's "My mom and dad move furniture in the night too. I think it is Santa's elves who are checking on me in the night, they move it back before I wake up".
At this point I thought it was best to intervene and remind them to focus on their work. You really can't make this up...
The things that you over hear on a day to day basis when you sub is unbelievable. This goes back to the idea that kids take in everything and are aware of everything. And most comments are strung from absolute innocence.
For example, the quote to himself "my head hurts when I think". He had no idea the humor and irony that was coming out of his mouth when he said it.
My favorite thing though (so far) happened during a conversation between 2 girls.
Both of these girls had to stay in during recess to work on something or another. When I was a kid, if I didn't get recess, that was the worst day ever. These girls seemed to be in no hurry to make it to the swings however. As they were working at their desk, I was sitting at the teacher's desk reading and not really listening to their conversation. They were talking quietly and as far as I was concerned, they were only wasting their own time.
For the sake of the story, we are going to name these girls Jenna and Kristen. Now, I am not sure exactly how this conversation got to this point, but I heard Kristen say "My dad really snores".
I love it when kids talk about their parents because no information is off limits, so I pause from my book to listen.
Jenna replies " My grandma's boyfriend really snores. I have to stay at my grandma's house when my mom's boyfriend comes to visit."
Now I am really listening.
Jenna continues "I am with my grandma about 4 times a week. But it's funny, because sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and hear snoring and its my grandma's boyfriend. He always gets there in the middle of the night when I am asleep."
Now they have my full attention.
Kristen reply's "Why doesn't he get there early to eat supper with you?"
Jenna says "Well, he is a truck driver and doesn't get in until late at night. It usually sounds like they are moving furniture before they go to bed, but when I wake up all the furniture is moved back to where it was before I went to bed."
I am ready to burst with laughter.
Kristen thinks about this for a minute and reply's "My mom and dad move furniture in the night too. I think it is Santa's elves who are checking on me in the night, they move it back before I wake up".
At this point I thought it was best to intervene and remind them to focus on their work. You really can't make this up...
The Sub Chronicles - Germs
Another thing that has happened to me since subbing has started is that I have become incredibly aware of the amount of germs that surround me every minute of every day.
I think it all started when my first real long subbing job (it lasted for a week) came from a lady who had swine flu. Now I understand it is going around and no one is safe, but honesty.
When I found out her diagnosis, I promptly asked the custodian to come in and clean her desk and the students desks. He came in and did the desks, and my mind was set at ease.
Temporally.
When I was doing attendance that morning, I realized that while the top of her desk was clean... everything inside it was not. The pen I was holding in my hand at that moment was in her hand yesterday and was suddenly covered in green germs - the animated kind that are in FloNase commercials.
I was suddenly acutely aware of every sneeze, cough and hiccup that was coming from the kids.
By the end of the day, I felt as if I were covered in those talking green germs.
And God forbid if a kid wants to hug you goodbye... You see them wipe their nose on their sleeve, give a little cough and then reach their small outstretched arms out at you. And you can't resist them. They are too cute. But sometimes it is just EW.
The worst germ factor however is the dreaded birthday treat. When you were a kid, and when I was a kid, when it was your birthday, you took in cookies or cupcakes or some homemade wonderful treat that you couldn't wait to share with your class and favorite teachers. You walked from room handing out your mom's treats (which you knew were the best in the class), and soaked in all the warm birthday wishes from teachers. It was a great day for everyone. Reality of the situation: Teachers don't eat them. When that cupcake hits the desk, they plaster on a smile and say that they can't wait to eat it... when in reality that cupcake is also covered in the green germs. It is such a waste of a good cupcake.
EDIT - The worst thing is Pink Eye.
I think it all started when my first real long subbing job (it lasted for a week) came from a lady who had swine flu. Now I understand it is going around and no one is safe, but honesty.
When I found out her diagnosis, I promptly asked the custodian to come in and clean her desk and the students desks. He came in and did the desks, and my mind was set at ease.
Temporally.
When I was doing attendance that morning, I realized that while the top of her desk was clean... everything inside it was not. The pen I was holding in my hand at that moment was in her hand yesterday and was suddenly covered in green germs - the animated kind that are in FloNase commercials.
I was suddenly acutely aware of every sneeze, cough and hiccup that was coming from the kids.
By the end of the day, I felt as if I were covered in those talking green germs.
And God forbid if a kid wants to hug you goodbye... You see them wipe their nose on their sleeve, give a little cough and then reach their small outstretched arms out at you. And you can't resist them. They are too cute. But sometimes it is just EW.
The worst germ factor however is the dreaded birthday treat. When you were a kid, and when I was a kid, when it was your birthday, you took in cookies or cupcakes or some homemade wonderful treat that you couldn't wait to share with your class and favorite teachers. You walked from room handing out your mom's treats (which you knew were the best in the class), and soaked in all the warm birthday wishes from teachers. It was a great day for everyone. Reality of the situation: Teachers don't eat them. When that cupcake hits the desk, they plaster on a smile and say that they can't wait to eat it... when in reality that cupcake is also covered in the green germs. It is such a waste of a good cupcake.
EDIT - The worst thing is Pink Eye.
The Sub Chronicles - Blank Walls
The Sub Chronicles:
You realize many things when you are subbing. For me, it has been how badly I want my own classroom. I also find myself looking around at classrooms and situations and trying to figure out what kind of classroom setting I want to set.
I know in the District where I am primarily been subbing, they are an LFS - learning focus school. What this means is that bulletin boards have to have information as apposed to pictures and fun things. Being that this is District mandated, there is very little wiggle room on this topic.
Still, it is interesting to see the many various ways that teachers present the same material. For example, some teachers make everything color coded and bright... boards that scream "Even though I am full of dull lesson information, LOOK AT ME'.
Other teachers have given up all together on the concept of bulletin boards and have just put up the bare minimum to scrap by.
Others yet have just thrown material on the board, with no sense of color scheme or pattern. These classrooms drive me bananas.
I have found (and have been told) that I need to do things my way and that I am less stressed out when things are done by the "Jillian Method".
When I enter one of these classrooms, where there are throws of color with no sense of balance or pattern, I just want to re-do it. I spend my days staring at the wall, trying to figure out how I would change it if I could. The kids of course take notice of my staring, and once, I even got into a discussion/debate with a student about what they would do if the could decorate a room.
You may not think anything of it, but kids notice when things don't match. And they notice when walls are dull. And they notice when things are too bright and in your face.
And they notice ever more so when you spend your days staring at the dull or in your face walls.
You realize many things when you are subbing. For me, it has been how badly I want my own classroom. I also find myself looking around at classrooms and situations and trying to figure out what kind of classroom setting I want to set.
I know in the District where I am primarily been subbing, they are an LFS - learning focus school. What this means is that bulletin boards have to have information as apposed to pictures and fun things. Being that this is District mandated, there is very little wiggle room on this topic.
Still, it is interesting to see the many various ways that teachers present the same material. For example, some teachers make everything color coded and bright... boards that scream "Even though I am full of dull lesson information, LOOK AT ME'.
Other teachers have given up all together on the concept of bulletin boards and have just put up the bare minimum to scrap by.
Others yet have just thrown material on the board, with no sense of color scheme or pattern. These classrooms drive me bananas.
I have found (and have been told) that I need to do things my way and that I am less stressed out when things are done by the "Jillian Method".
When I enter one of these classrooms, where there are throws of color with no sense of balance or pattern, I just want to re-do it. I spend my days staring at the wall, trying to figure out how I would change it if I could. The kids of course take notice of my staring, and once, I even got into a discussion/debate with a student about what they would do if the could decorate a room.
You may not think anything of it, but kids notice when things don't match. And they notice when walls are dull. And they notice when things are too bright and in your face.
And they notice ever more so when you spend your days staring at the dull or in your face walls.
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